how do you find the people you like?

This week's New York Times Magazine cover article is about how people around you affect you. First, I want to say, "well, duh!". Seriously, can you get more obvious than that? Yes, my peers have a huge effect on how I am. I think everyone can generally say the same.

People generally gravitate towards others with similar interest or personalities. It's called "having things in common." The article did get me thinking though. Do I have any people I regularly talk to that I have nothing in common with? And why?

I do. His name is Paul Dai. I've known him since junior high school. He lives 3 blocks away from me. We rarely hang out anymore, except under specific circumstances (it usually involves girls, or the lack of). Before we both became the persons we are today, we use to hang out. In junior high I guess we hung out because we were both Chinese. There was another article somewhere saying how in schools there is still a huge racial divide- the blacks tend to befriend other blacks, Asians with Asians, whites with whites, etc. while the teachers all say they have an integrated school (which is true in theory).

Anyway, we both did art and liked videogames. That was enough back then. But he has left that part of him in the past and have no interest in art now. He's a stock broker now. All business. Can you imagine me being friends with someone like that? And yet, here we are. He is definitely a dependable friend, but we have almost nothing in common anymore. We used to shoot pool regularly. He was teaching me. But then he got bored and we stopped.

I recently got him into biking. It's not that hard to do though. I guess at some point growing up, most people stop riding their bikes, but now you tell someone to ride one after not having rid one for a few years and they remember how fun it is right away. I really do think that is the hurdle to getting more people to ride bikes regularly again- just remind them how fun it is. So we've been doing that a lot.

I realize now that it's good to be friends with someone you have almost nothing in common with, although hard to do since you'd have little to talk about, or you'd both be disinterested in each other's passions and hobbies. That is how people become friends right? A shared, mutual appreciation of certain things.

I guess what this long post boils down to is, I want to try and met more people that I have nothing in common with to get their perspective on things, be less ignorant. I need to make some republican friends.