This is just something I need to get off my chest.
Its coming up to be 1 year soon of being out of school for me and directly or indirectly, it seems to me that pretty much no one in my graduating class has been doing anything art related deemed "worthy" to talk about.
What I mean is that it seems no one has really continued to do art in the sense that we did while at Alfred. And for some reason, there is a stigma attached to this that it's a BAD THING. While I'm all about continuing to make art, I don't see why a lot of people are "embarrassed" about what they are or are not doing right now to get by (except Nadine, she keeps it reals. Respect).
This is what I gathered from making that list of what all the '06 BFAs are doing anyway. I know more than a few people who purposely did not respond to that list because they didn't want people knowing they weren't doing anything/not doing anything art related/doing something "lame". Why? Do you honestly believe we (the average person) can be "art stars" less than ONE YEAR out of school? Do you know how long it takes to get ANYWHERE you want to be? More than a year. Look at all the people who are "successful", in any capacity, with few exceptions, it takes a lot of hard work, perseverance, and dedication to be "successful". Basically, YOU HAVE TO PUT IN A LOT OF WORK to be where you want to be- if you even know where you want to be. I don't think any of us have that figured out either (which is OK).
Even people who seem to be successful in a small amount of time, like the 2 guys who created Youtube, put in their dues at Google and shit. Everything leads to something, if you are dedicated.
Alfred has romanticized our perception of what an "artist" is and what "success" in being an artist is and I think that is part of the problem, more so than any other art school because Alfred was so fucking isolated. There was nothing to do there
but work on art. You know what I mean when I say you felt "bad" or something was "off" if you weren't in studio at every possible moment. It doesn't even matter if you had anything to do really, Alfred ingrained in our minds that we HAD to be working in the studio.
So now that we are out, "uh oh! We're all poor and have no easy access to a studio!" and we feel bad/ashamed/whatever about not producing work. I'm hearing a lot of complaining about this fact, yet no one seems to be doing anything about it.
If you really wanted to be producing work, you should stop complaining or making excuses on why you aren't and PRODUCE WORK. No, it's not easy, but "if there's a will, there's a way".
Jackie Rines is a good example of this. She knows its going to take more than a year to be off her feet, and has just now started to become comfortable with what she is doing. She's working a retail job to make money and rented a studio space in Greenpoint to make work. She has told me all of the work she has made up to this point has been "garbage" but she's still making stuff because she has the drive and just to be making things. Now she's got a better gig at Greenwich House (Pottery) and is more happy about that situation. She has been here for almost a year now and is just now starting to get where she wants to go.
For the better part from last May till now, I didn't take 1 photo. Not one for at least 6 months straight. I lost the inspiration and drive to produce work. Why? Because I wasn't in school and I didn't have "deadlines" and "grades" to worry about. There were no repercussions if I didn't produce work. And I think this is a huge part in why a lot of people aren't making anything right now. I am not saying its right or wrong, that doesn't matter. People go to college for different reasons, some go because it's the next thing society tells you to do in order to be able to do something else.
Not making art bothered me, but it was always something that was in the back of my mind. I wanted to print but it was "too difficult". In reality I WAS LAZY and didn't get myself to a darkroom, and I still haven't. But in the past 3 months, my interest and love for photography came back to me, and it is stronger than ever. I started to take some food photography for my company, and realized how much I missed taking pictures.
I bought myself a D-SLR and 2 film SLRs and I have the drive and motivation to take pictures again. Now I sort of have an idea of what I want to do and what direction I want my career to go. It has taken me a year to figure out what I want to possibly do, and I consider this to be quick.
Now photography consumes me. It is on my mind constantly. I get my ass to Barnes and Noble at least 3 times a week and just read everything and anything about photography and I try to go shoot at least once a week.
There have been some negative energies around me lately with regard to this (people being LAZY) and it urks me. It's fine if you don't know what you want , it's fine if you're content with what you are or aren't doing, but its not ok if you say "I want to be doing X" or saying you know you should be doing something and then not do it.
Blaming people/things/your environment on why you aren't doing something should not cut it. We are all responsible for all of our actions and inactions. I would
love to say, "I'm not taking photos because it's hard getting access to a darkroom". It's not because it's hard to get to a darkroom (it really isn't for me), it's just that I'm lazy and unmotivated to get to a darkroom.
Other people cannot help you fix this problem, this is something we all have to ask ourselves and fix for ourselves. I've come to realize that you can't help someone unless they want to help themselves. My friend Paul realized this 5 years ago. I realized this last year, and stupidly still try to "help" people. Of course it doesn't work- they don't want to be helped. People don't change. You are who you are. It takes a life changing experience (I'm talking some near fatal shit) that people REALLY evaluate their lives and question what they are doing with it.
I'm also sensing some jealously bullshit towards me too, because I'm actually trying to make work now. I dunno what that's about. The School of Art and Design list and the FLICKR group Jenny and I created aren't about showing off what I'm doing right now, it's about trying to reconnect, seeing what others are doing, and having a platform for feedback, inspiration and motivation. There are only4 others on that FLICKR group right now not including me. I bet if we were all still at Alfred and was producing work, a lot of people would join it.
Does it matter if you aren't really producing anything right now? No. But being able to see what others are doing might just give you that spark you need to be doing something. Idol hands stay idol. Exercise your mind, feed it and the ideas will eventually come.
